I’ve always been good at being everyone’s cheerleader, but I can really suck at being my own. I have some big ideas and dreams, but I have so much fear and doubt about actually pursuing them. Consciously I know what I’m capable of and maybe this is the part that scares me the most. I’ve become very aware that I have to stop criticizing, judging and being so hard on myself. And I’ve got to stop thinking and saying “there’s something wrong with me”. I put so much pressure on myself to do everything at once as quickly as possible that I end up completely stressing and wearing myself out. Talk about counter-productive and self-sabotaging! I know this is not healthy, yet I still have a hard time stopping this nonsense.
I live in my head and drive myself crazy with a running to-do and “what if” list. But I keep putting off the higher priority things and do the “fun” stuff instead. If I really want to be an entrepreneur and leader I have to be willing to do it all. I know I can. I need to stop resisting, hesitating and doubting and just go for it! I’ve come this far, I won’t turn back now.
Now that I’m aware of all of this, what do I do about it? I continue to peel my layers and expose my wounds, then I forgive, let go and feel so I will be able to heal. I know there’s a lot out there about living in the now, we can’t move forward if we’re looking back. I agree with this, but I also believe in cause and effect. Meaning that each symptom/issue has a root cause; in other words something happened to cause you to feel, think or act a certain way. You can call me the why girl, “why can’t you quit smoking”, “why do you procrastinate”, “why do you have anxiety” and so on. I want to get to the root so I can stop the cycle we create that validates our belief system. For example if you believe you don’t deserve to be loved (whether you’re conscious of it or not) you will create or attract people and scenarios that confirm your belief.
Lately it’s very helpful to keep things in perspective and take an honest look at my attitude. Am I complaining and wishing things are different or am I focusing on what I can do to change the situation or my attitude? I also think of everything in my life that I’m grateful for and acknowledge all of the progress I’ve made so far. My mantra now is to be patient, positive and persistent in making my dreams a reality! Go me!